The Silent Struggles of Being a Stay-at-Home Mom of Two
From the outside, being a SAHM can look cushy. You’re at home with your children. You don’t have a boss constantly checking in on you or strict deadlines you need to meet. Some think getting to stay home and raise your children means that you get to binge your favorite TV programs or get lost in social media whenever you feel like it. But nothing could be further from the truth.
Being a stay-at-home mom—especially with multiple kids—one of which I homeschool-is one of the most demanding, exhausting, and emotionally complex jobs there is.
And most of the time, the world never sees the work behind it
The Day Only Keeps Going
When you’re a stay-at-home mom of two, the day doesn’t have clear starting or stopping points. Your alarm clock might be a toddler climbing into your bed at 5:30 a.m. or a baby crying from their bed.
From that moment on, the day begins at full speed.
What am I going to give the kids for breakfast, because they both require something different at their current stages. The baby's diaper needs to be changed. My oldest spilled cereal all over the floor and left it for me to step in and while I'm busy trying to clean the fruit loop crumbs off my foot and floor, the baby is crying because it's taking me too long to get his oatmeal cooled off for him to eat. All of this before I've even had a chance to make my instant iced coffee, I've already dealt with 3 or 4 small problems.
And it continues like that all day.
There is schoolwork to prepare, toys to pick up, laundry to fold, dishes to load into the dishwasher (because I am not handwashing if I don't have too), messes to clean, and a barrage of endless questions to answer.
“Mommy, check this out!”
“Mommy, I’m hungry.”
“Mommy, where's my tablet?”
“Mommy, do aliens exist?” (yes, this is a real question my son has asked me)
Or my personal favorite question and argument of the day all rolled into one "Mom, can I watch YouTube?"
You are the cook, teacher, coach, cheerleader, nurse, entertainer, maid, and emotional support system—all rolled into one.
And it's not only for your children, depending on your relationship, you are probably most of these things for your spouse too.
The Mental Load No One Sees
One of the most difficult parts isn’t even the physical work—it’s the mental load.
You’re always thinking about everything.
When the kids need new clothes and shoes.
When the next doctor appointment is and do we have enough money for the copay.
What day should we go get groceries and trying to make a list of all the necessities.
Whether my oldest is meeting milestones in his homeschooling.
Am I providing enough enrichment for each of kids every day.
How to handle meltdowns and fights between my kids better.
What to cook for dinner and am I making the same dinner too often.
Your brain rarely gets to slow down let alone shut down.
Even when the kids are finally going to bed, your mind is still running through the weeks to-do list.
The Loneliness No One Talks About
Another issue many SAHM face is loneliness.
You can spend the entire day talking, but not actually having a real conversation with another adult.
Your "colleagues" are tiny humans who fight about getting dressed and whine because they have to do 1 hour of schoolwork before they can play, even though it's the same routine everyday.
You miss adult interaction and real engaging conversation. You may miss having a part of your identity that isn’t just “Mommy.”
And sometimes that can bring guilt, because you love your kids so much. But loving them doesn’t mean you can't want to have time for yourself.
The Guilt That Comes With Everything
SAHM's often carry a heavy sense of guilt.
If the house is a mess, you feel like you should have done more.
If you take a break to have a moment to yourself, you feel like you should be doing something productive.
If you feel overwhelmed, you feel bad for feeling that way.
And with two kids, there’s another layer: feeling like you’re constantly splitting your attention.
When I'm tending to the baby, my oldest needs me too. Sometimes it can feel like you’re never fully giving either of them enough.
The Exhaustion Is Real
Caring for two kids all day is physically and emotionally exhausting.
There are no lunch breaks. No off the clock time. No sick days or PTO.
Even when you’re sick, the kids still need to eat. They still need to be entertained. They still need someone to comfort them and make sure they are doing what they should throughout the day.
And the roughest part? A lot of the work resets each day.
You tidy the kitchen—then it’s a mess again.
You pick up toys—then they’re scattered again.
You wash the laundry—then the basket is loaded back up.
It can feel like running on a hamster wheel.
But There Is Beauty in the Chaos
Despite all the struggles, there are moments that make it meaningful.
The spontaneous hugs and "I love you Mom".
The way your kids run to you when they’re hurt.
The giggles during silly moments.
The quiet moments during naps when they just want to be held and look so sweet sleeping in your arms.
The times when your homeschooler applies the lessons you've taught them without you having the prompt them.
You get to witness all the milestones many parents miss out on—the first words, the funny moments, the little personalities forming, the first time your toddler stands up and takes steps without realizing it and when your oldest reads an entire chapter of a book out loud to you without having to stop and ask you for help.
These moments don’t erase the struggles of being a SAHM, but they remind you why you choose to do this. Because it's the best and most difficult job for a dedicated mother.
A Job That Deserves More Recognition
Being a SAHM of two isn’t “just staying home.” It’s constant work, emotional investment, patience, and love poured into raising human beings.
It’s messy. It’s overwhelming. It’s exhausting.
But it’s also deeply important.
And if you’re a SAHM feeling tired, unseen, or overwhelmed—you’re not failing and you're not alone.
You’re doing one of the hardest jobs there is and just know you are doing your best.
So keep following along, as I talk about my struggles, challenges and frustrations about my SAHM journey. I'll share my stories and ways I've found to solve some of my issues and how I handle the day to day with my 2 kiddos. I'll dive into a lot in this blog including how I made the decision to become a SAHM, my relationship with my husband and how it's changed since becoming a SAHM, and how it's changed me. I may also start doing some reviews on products and material that's helped me as a SAHM and teacher of my oldest. I will also talk about homeschooling my oldest and giving my advice and support on homeschooling your child and how my husband and I came to decide this was the best decision for our family. I hope you stay along for the ride.
No comments:
Post a Comment